Kids' holiday energy and enough love to go around

Heng Swee Lim, illustrator and graphic designer.

Find his Hugs Keep Us Alive print on Etsy. His website, tees, and blog. 

I open the door to Starr's House (a neighborhood preschool) and feel a buzz of energy. More than usual.

Holidays ask a lot of parents and the celebrations ask a lot of our children. I remember that the best gift to give a preschool child right now is order and routine. 

So we sit in a circle and practice breathing like we always do.

I say, "Let's breathe in and out to be with ourselves." We close our eyes, put our hands on our thighs, and breathe. We keep breathing even though the youngest, Jax, loudly whispers like he always does, "Susan, open your eyes." 

After about three minutes, I say, "Okay" in a quiet voice and remain still for another minute, smiling as I slowly gaze around the circle taking in each child's eyes one at a time. I know they like this because they smile back.

Next, we sing. 

I teach a new version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. With one child I model the movement.

Twinkle, twinkle little star, (I take the child's hands, hold them up, and move my fingers for the twinkling star.)

What a wonderful child you are, (I hug the child.)

With sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks, (I point to their eyes and cheeks.)

Talented from head to feet, (I touch their head and then their feet.)

Twinkle, twinkle little star,

What a wonderful child you are. (I hug the child.)

We try it. Elijah exuberantly lifts Mason off the ground at the hugging part. Mason doesn't mind. But Peyton does. Mason accidentally kicks her.

We sit.

I ask, "Does anyone know the story about the woman who lived in a shoe?" Hands fly up. I tell them a revised version:

"There was a wonderful woman who lived in a school (this time it's about Starr, who owns their school; I point to her when I say it). She had so many children she knew exactly what to do. She held them, she rocked them, and tucked them in bed, 'I love you, I love you' is what she said." 

And that little nursery rhyme sets us up for a lesson about love. 

I hold up a card I made. “Love” is written in large print letters. 

“Who can read this?” The children exclaim, “Ansel can.” Ansel says, “Love!” 

What does love mean?” I ask. The children tell me: “Kisses, presents, playing with each other, helping, saying ‘I love you.’”

Mason says, “I have a lot of energy inside me.” 

His self-aware proclamation gets my full attention. 

When a child is wildly active, I say, "Oh, it looks like you have a lot of energy inside of you. Let's get it out. (We take a walk.) That might help you settle.” 

“Who else has a lot of energy?”  

Everyone does. I'm not surprised. I have an activity planned, but I decide it is a good time to go outdoors. 

Children pick up energy from the extra holiday activities and duties. They also feel others' anxieties. It helps to go outside to expend energy and let nature blow a settling breeze through our hearts. 

Outside we go.

The children run and role-play.  Ansel is a cowboy riding a horse, and Elijah and Mason are a pet-owner and a dog going for a walk using sticks for animals. Maggie is a scientist searching for caterpillars. Peyton is gathering pretend blueberries and tomatoes for her mud-kitchen stew.

Just before it's time to come inside, I call the children to a circle. 

I pass out candles and we begin the Love Candle Activity, an activity to discover how much love is inside of us. The children are captivated by the lit candle in the middle of our circle which represents ALL LOVE. One by one I use my lit candle to light their candle and say, "I give you all my love." I call attention to my still-lit candle and say, "And look, I still have all my love to give."

A child says, "If I give my love 100 zillion times, do I still have love to give?"

"Yes, you still have all your love to give. That love inside of you is unchanging. And if one person gives you love, you can still receive love 100 zillion more times." 

No one says anything so I'm not sure if they understand their innate capacity.

I'm happy and relieved that nothing is aflame except love. 

We went inside to do an activity.

The activity? Love necklaces! 

"Every bead represents someone you love." 

I call out a name with every bead I string. I begin by calling each of their names.

They string necklaces. This takes concentration. The room is silent except for a staccato-name-call-out here and there.

And now it's time for me to go. 

Just before I leave Brennyn runs over and says “I love you, Miss Susan” as she hugs my legs. I tell Brennyn, “I give you all my love and look, I have all my love to give Maggie as Maggie and I hug.  Brennyn laughs, “Like the fire in the candle.” Then Elijah hugs me while I say, I give all my love to you…and look…!”  Mason is next. 

One by one, they say goodbye and then head back to their work.


NOTE: I'm a retired Montessori teacher who volunteers. I visit Starr's House one day a week. The children are 3 to 6 years old.

Gummy lumps, a spitball necklace, and chasing children

Interpreter, mixed technique, 2004

Jüri Mildeberg is a famous Estonian painter, graphic artist, and illustrator. 

I cannot imagine a nicer start to my day. 

On my morning walk, I stop by Starr’s House. I walk up the driveway and hear laughter and activity. The children are outside playing in the yard. It’s fall. The light is warm and whispy clouds dart across the sky. Leaves dance in a breeze that will usher in cooler temperatures tomorrow.

I open the gate and the minute we make eye contact, the children call, “Chase me Susan!” So I do. Turn by turn I chase each child. Then Elijah shouts, “I’m chasing you,” and again I run.

I usually visit on Thursdays and today is Friday. I’m here to drop off their interview project. The interview is a series of several questions. Here’s one:

“What is one of the best things about you?” 

They said:

“That my Daddy loves me and I play a lot.”


“I help make pumpkin muffins.”

“My cheeks are soft. I’m soft.”

“My Grandma loves me.”

“Well, I can color, I can dress up, and I can catch butterflies without hurting them.”

“I’m a fast runner and I can climb trees.”

I take away from the interview experience how much children live in the moment and find joy in the gifts found in any day. The responses provide an opportunity to spend time looking at life from their view. Asking a question, then quieting myself to pay attention. Listening takes effort. When I do, it is a valuable gift to the children and me.

The children will give their parents the interview and a bracelet of beads they strung. I call the gift a gummy lump. 

Gummy lumps are any gifts made and given by a child to a loved one. 

This morning I pulled out a gummy lump made by my son. It's a spitball necklace. I am not making that up. I'm wearing it in memory of his birthday which is today. (He passed on.) I remember when he was the age of the kids I ran with this morning and the terrific, funny and fun things he said and did, much like what I experience at Starr’s House each week.

The spitball necklace! 

He made it when he was a student at Center Montessori School in Bradenton, Florida. His teacher, Missy Eckenrod, took a not-so-positive activity and turned it into this treasured object. That was 32 years ago. 

(This post was published November 9, 2012.)

Kids' paper airplanes and free play, storytelling

 Jack, 3 years, flying a paper airplane

We are folding and flying paper airplanes. The kids favor the Super Suzy looping model that is just right for the play yard space and wind speed this morning. Then I notice something else.

Before presenting the planes, I showed pictures of kids’ faces having a variety of feelings to teach emotional vocabulary. I emphasize frustration and say we might feel frustrated if a plane doesn’t loop. Or if the loop arches over the fence and we lose it.

We fly and revel in new words like holding the “fuselage” with two fingers so the “lift” can enhance the flight loop until “gravity” pulls the plane to the ground.

After flying paper planes, Elijah found a stick with a string tied on one end. “Let’s go fishing!” he yells to Mason. I'm awed by their free play with the planes and now by a stick.

 

Their teacher Starr asks, “Are you going ocean or lake fishing?”

“Ocean! We’re going to catch a shark,” replies Elijah as he jumps on the stump (his boat) for a long cast.

“Will you keep or throw it back?"

"How will you get it off the hook?”

Then Elijah’s pal Mason yells, “Catfish! I’m catching catfish.” 

Elijah helps Mason tie a string on his rod. Mason tells him, "I need a long line, they're on the bottom."

“Are there catfish in the ocean?” asks Starr.

Without waiting for a reply, Elijah gathers a couple small toys and begins to tie a small, grey-muddied stuffed animal to the end of the string. “I caught an octopus!"

I watch as he casts and pretends to reel. When it's time to go inside, Elijah disappointedly exclaims, “Hey, I’m fishing! Shark are biting now!”

Free play is important. The children eventually get down to the business of playing.

Free play is an example of what education scientist Caleb Gattengo calls subordinating teaching to learning. 

Subordinating teaching to learning reminds me that knowledge is the result of something the learner does. It places the emphasis on the child’s learning, not on what the teacher is doing. Gattengo says it's the teacher’s responsibility to create experiences to educate a child's awareness about themselves, others, and the situation at hand. In doing so, the teacher asks the questions derived from being alert to what the kids are doing and saying.  

Kids ask their friends for solution ideas to their problems

Image credit: Brooke hides behind the apron.

"I can't find anywhere to hide when I play hide and seek."

Problems, problems, problems. We all have them. Even kids. 

Often in circle or with a group of children I ask, "Are you having any problems you'd like to share?" Hands fly up! The children want to tell their problems. 

Simply saying a problem aloud helps: the teller hears the problem and gets it out. Expression lessens discomfort. 

After feelings are expressed, there's another way to help--invite solution ideas from others.

I ask, "Does anyone have ideas on how to solve this problem?"

Here are a few problems they shared followed by solutions their friends offer.
(The one with the problem listens and then either chooses a suggested solution to try for the week or names their own solution.)

I'm afraid of the dark when I go to sleep.

Get a flashlight.
Turn your nightlight on.
Close your eyes so you don't see the dark.
Keep the light on.
Think about your birthday.

Each time when I wake up and I have to feed my fish and when I do they bite my finger.

Tell Dad to feed the fish.

Stay away from fish.

Tell Mom you don't want to feed the fish.

Ask Mom to get a fish finger.

Put food in a cup and then pour into the fish tank.

Sprinkle food really fast.

Every night when I sleep I hear noises.

Get covers and cover ears with pillows.

Close the door and close the windows.

Go to someone's house and sleep.

Dad is playing Play Station and he has really loud volume.

Tell Dad not to play anymore.

Go downstairs and tell him to turn the volume down.

Tell Dad if he has it on loud.

Shut your door.

Shut doors in the basement and in your room.

Just try to go to sleep.

My brother keeps tricking me and he says he's going to give me something and he doesn't and I don't like it.

If he says he's going to give you something, walk away.

Say, "I'm disappointed."

Tell him, "I don't like it when you trick me. Please stop."

Go hide from him.