Falling out (or down) and trying again

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I want to tell you about my struggle to stay with my improved wellness habits.

This is what happened.

I notice Lois. I am at a yoga class. It is her birthday. Classmates gather around to sing happy birthday as she holds a handstand.

Lois is 75 years young.

A week later I practice alongside Lois. When we try frog pose, I look over at her. She holds her feet off the ground for a few seconds and then falls out of the pose. She quietly tries again. She tries again. 

I began to think about what it means to fall out. To fall out--of a pose, a practice, an intention, a commitment--in all areas of my life.

I realize that when I do a yoga pose I'm practicing how I can choose to live. 
I know that I have a choice about my attitudes and responses. I want to approach a pose and life's experiences by giving it my all with a soft, consistent determination. 

I believe I need to be fully present and alive in the moment to practice this. 

By learning to be present and to participate in a way that is both steady and comfortable means I free myself from any thought or sensation that brings about self-judgment. 

While I am practicing a pose, I let go of thoughts such as “I can’t do this posture” or “everyone is so much more flexible than I am” or “I will never be strong enough to do that” because these thoughts are disruptive and make it difficult to be present and focused. 

Instead of self-criticizing when I fall out in a pose or skip a run or choose a not-so-healthy food, I notice my judgment and how it affects me. Then I let it go. I simply notice and let it go! 

I try again with an intention of giving 100%. And then I accept how 100% looks in that moment. 

When I fall out (not if), I try again. 

Just like a young child learning to walk. She falls. She doesn't say, I can't do this. I'm no good at walking. This isn't worth it. She doesn't give up. She tries again. When she falls, she gets back up again.